Imagining waking up tomorrow and realizing you are on the fast track to death. No, literally you went from being semi-healthy to your body completely shutting down with no valid explanation from the medical experts you expect to know. I mean yea, you know you should work out more, stop with the fast food and drink more water. Yea you know you got to get more sleep and realize you can’t squeeze 30 hrs in a 24hr day. But never in a million years did you think you’d wake up one day and realize that any day could literally be your last. No one had to give you a timeline, because the reality that in the next 5 mins you could drop dead is a scary enough. Welcome to my reality! Now I am not writing this for your sympathy, but as my duty to send a message to the masses that the time is NOW!!! The time to value life, appreciate the good, bad and ugly. To remind friends and family what they mean to you. The time is now to achieve that dream and stop simply putting it off for tomorrow. The time to make your spiritual walk a priority is now. It is the time to stop making excuses for all the reason we aren’t where we want and God desires us to be.
I contemplated even sharing my story, but God has a way of sending the message loud and clear. I have loved writing since forever, but never stayed committed to it because I honestly didn’t think people cared enough to read what I had to say. So I dibbled and dabbled over the years. People would ask me all the time when I’d follow up on the last piece I wrote, and I would get super excited, write something, then say naw it’s not good enough to post. Then my illness set in and can you imagine where it started? My hands! I chalked it up as carpal tunnel…clearly NOT THE CASE. You’d think I’d make the spiritual connection, but clearly I didn’t. You can’t connect the spiritual dots if you are NOT in-tune with God for real (that’s a conversation for another day). But what I love about God is he is such a gentleman. He’ll tell you over and over, and when he realizes you aren’t getting it, he will use his willing servants to send the message; and that he did. Let me pause right here briefly (put a quarter in the meter). Don’t EVER allow yourself to miss the opportunity to let God use you. If he drops someone in your spirit or instructs you to take action….MOVE! You don’t have to know the background, circumstance or situation. You got the order from God and all he asks is for you to be obedient. Let him do the rest. God hears our deepest most silent prayers. He uses the willing to communicate messages of love, joy, faith, encouragement and discipline. Don’t worry yourself with whether the person will receive it. You aren’t responsible for that, you simply are required to be obedient and God will move in his infinite grace and do the rest. So stop creating all these “conditions” or “rules” before you just do what God told you to do. MOVE ALREADY!
- Time on the meter has run out…back to my story!! -
The confirmation that I needed to write came in a couple of forms. Shout out to God for knowing I am one of his special children that needs 3 and 4 signs before I trust the message (I know I am not alone).
Message 1 – Friends, family, Facebook followers and strangers kept telling me to start a blog. They’d laugh, agree, and high five the things I would say. All I kept hearing is “girl, you need to start a blog or put videos on youtube, because you are saying something” The closest I got to that was starting Facebook groups where I ranted about reality shows I probably shouldn’t be watching…LOL and posting 1 or 2 videos on youtube.
Message 2 – I was granted the opportunity to submit a writing sample about dating in charlotte to a local magazine. I did it, got rave reviews, and was asked for a follow up….that still hasn’t happened…don’t judge me!
Message 3 – After my illness set in, my LS’s mom, Rev. Dawn Christopher asked to pray with me. There was NO ONE more that I wanted to connect with. Anyone who knows Rev. Christopher knows that the minute she opens her mouth, the tears begin to flow. The anointing on her life is indescribable. Her willingness to actively listen to the voice of God and speak with authority will awaken even the most dormant dead spirit man. Within her spiritual strength she approaches delivering the word with the soothing power of a mother, the wisdom of a grandmother and with simplicity that anyone at any spiritual level will understand. She pulled me aside at our Delta Convention, placed one hand gently on my back and the other in my hands. From the first touch, the tears started to flow. I immediately felt a sense of rest. No frustration, no confusion, no uncertainty. As she prayed she spoke of things I had not told ANYONE. Fears that only God knew from the tears that flowed down my face nightly. The fact that I really hadn’t slept since getting the news, because I was so scared I’d died in my sleep and now one would know for days. She spoke of how scared I was because the doctors couldn’t explain my illness, the secret thoughts that the end of my life was closer than I thought. None of these things I ever spoke to anyone. As she prayed she’d occasionally stop and ask me questions and give me instruction. She was listening to God’s voice as the Holy Spirit continued to intercede on our behalf. At one point she told God she wasn’t going to ask for healing, because the bible was clear that healing was already inside us when Jesus died on the cross. All we needed him to do is activate what already existed through the blood of his son (LOVED THAT). Then finally right as she was wrapping up the prayer and I am sure I had soaked her hands with tears, she asked me was the illness in my hands? I mumbled yes. She said, God is telling you to write, there is something in you he wants to communicate and through this experience the message will be heard loud and clear….MESSAGE!
See how awesome God is. See what being a willing vessel can do. Is my illness gone, HECK NO! But I’ve been able to sleep much better than before. And in those weak moments, when the thoughts of death beset me, I remember that brief moment when someone prayed with me, not just for me. Someone touched and agreed that healing was mine, saith the Lord. I remember that God loves me enough to send a messenger over and over to remind me to walk in the destiny he had for me well before I was even created. And every morning I open my eyes I am reminded that my destiny isn’t complete.
When they say life changes quickly, they weren’t lying. How many times have you posted something to remind your Facebook following to appreciate life, to value the people you know and love and to live life to the fullest? The better question is how often do you actually do the things you post? It’s easier to post these inspirational messages because it doesn’t require work. It doesn’t shift behavior, interrupt complacency, or force you to actually take an action. Today is the day we move from simply posting to actually doing.
Promise yourself today that you will be more actively engaged in living the life God gave you to the fullest every day. Literally commit to “NO DAYS OFF.” Promise yourself to call that friend, text that family member or let someone know they are thought of. “NO DAYS OFF” from giving yourself everything you deserve, from working hard, from being a better you. Life is not promised, but Death is certain. You really don’t know the day, time or hour when your number will be called. But what you can do until then is ensure your legacy lives well after you have been called home to glory. You can rest in paradise knowing lives were changed, futures were brightened and the message of God was shared with all those you encountered.
Now I hope you enjoy the beginning of a series I call….Almost 30 and dying!
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