We know all medication has some sort of side effect(s). Sometimes when I hear those commercials on TV for all these medications, the side effects alone make you pray to God you never encounter that disease. Like seriously, it almost seems better to die from the disease, because the medicinal side effects will take you out anyway. You never hear them say; it will lift your mood, make you a healthy 10lbs lighter, get you a boo or make you a millionaire. It’s always some deep dark list of depressing side effects that make you want to jump off your patio. What I have learned through this illness is that the medication isn’t the only thing with side effects. There are “side effects” to everything. The reality is, we don’t call it that, but simply refer to them as consequences or karma…whatever your pleasure.
The hardest reality I have had to accept is that things aren’t always as they seem. Illness has a way of showing you people’s true colors. Now I know many will get offended, but if the shoe fits than buy it in two colors. Gone are the days when I will walk on egg shells and pacify bad behavior. We have GOT TO DO BETTER. I mentioned this before, and I will say it again, people make time for the things that are important to them. If they can’t make time they will make excuses. Now I am not saying that in our daily lives we don’t get busy and distracted, but that’s only good for the first day or two. If this is consistent behavior it is no longer a simple slip of the mind but unacceptable behavior. Going through tough situations not only shows you who you are, but exposes the people around you. Those are the side effects that kind of sneak up on you and surprise the hell out of you. See a lot of people will hold you down when things are going good, when your situation doesn’t impose on their happiness or when they have time to engage you. But it is in your darkest hour that true friends (and family) shine the brightest. These are the people who step up, step in and hold you down for as long as you need them to without question, issue or obligation.
Now you will spend the first few days trying to convince yourself there is no way he or she wouldn’t be here for you. We’ve been down like four flats on a Cadillac since 1992…LOL. But the reality is it is VERY POSSIBLE. However what you must do is focus on the people who ARE THERE. Spend your energy (or what little you have) allowing those who WANT to be there, to be there. I don’t want people who are in my life when it is convenient for them. I don’t want you around if you have to know all the details and severity of my situation before you are actively engaged and I’m downright sick of people with a laundry list of excuses. Now I have to remind myself that I can’t judge people because they don’t do the things I would do in friendship, however I know how I desire and deserve to be treated. So if you aren’t interested in actively participating in this friendship, going above and beyond and matching my effort….then there’s the door. No hard feelings, I’ll still speak to you when I see you in Wal-mart, but the space you once occupied is now VACANT!
I know Drake said, “No new friends”, but I am a witness some of my NEW FRIENDS have treated me better than my OLD FRIENDS. People I didn’t even consider “friends” have stepped up in ways that I can’t even describe without getting emotional. Also I have had some people who I haven’t talked to in years to step up. Not because they are nosey, but because despite our past together, they have a love for me that never went away. This is when you realize that being nice, pleasant and respectful of everyone is important, regardless of your relationship with that person. The bible is clear, you reap what you sow; so if you put out good…you will reap good and you will reap it in the season when you most need it!
Illness not only affects your body but has a tremendous effect on your mood. Any doctor, nurse or medical professional will tell you that the greatest “medicine” for a patient is the love and support of family and friends. That support helps keep the patient’s mood and spirit in a good place. This is essential to combating the disease or illness. It is very easy to slip into depression and pity. Not to mention, most medications indicate they cause depression or thoughts of suicide as a side effect. Dang…how encouraging is that? LOL. Having consistent, loyal, caring family and friends around me during this difficult time has done more for my healing than any pill I’ve been prescribed. Those feelings of death and depression are REAL and there are many times in our lives when we really don’t have the spiritual strength to go to God for ourselves. Why do you think preachers emphasize the importance of intercessory prayer? Not because they don’t have anything better to do on a Monday night, but because they know the value of interceding on behalf of others. They know the power of standing in the GAP. Don’t believe me; let me give you some bible. The word says that when we don’t know what to pray for, the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf to the father…so if the Holy Spirit knows the importance what makes you think it’s not necessary…I digress. Sometimes people don’t need you to speak, provide your unwarranted advice or spew your negativity. Most times people simply need you to listen, be a shoulder to cry on (JUDGEMENT FREE) or simply pray with and for them.
(put a quarter in the meter here)
There is a BIG difference between praying for and with someone. You can pray for ANYONE. But when you pray WITH someone, you should be touching and agreeing on whatever it is you are petitioning the father for. So don’t touch unless you agree. Make sure you are walking in spiritual discernment and not asking God for fleshly things. Need an example: You and your friend should NOT be touching and agreeing that her boo-thang (that is married) will leave his wife and be with her. That is disobedience and downright STUPID. I know that’s a bit dramatic, but you get my point. And your ability to pray with or for someone is NOT contingent on knowing all the details of their situation. With limited to NO details, drop to your knees and go to God. He is the author and finisher of our lives, so he doesn’t need you telling him stuff he already knows. He just wants to see you activate your faith in his ability to heal, save, deliver and bless. GET IT? GOT IT? GOOD!!!
*Time on the meter has run out*
Funny thing is not all the side effects are immediate. Sometimes it takes time before the side effects actually set in. But know the minute you pop that first pill, make the first bad decision, go against your better judgment, the seed has already been planted. You know how the bible says for everything there is a season? That isn’t just for the good things, but for everything under the sun. Good, bad and ugly! Therefore today you may not think there are consequences to that thing you know you shouldn’t have done, because the excitement of “doing it” supersedes anything bad you could possibly imagine. But know in due season that seed will take root and form a bud. And before you know it, you’ll be trying to figure out why these things are happening in your life that you didn’t expect….SIDE EFFECTS.
It is important for us to be conscious of the decisions we make. We won’t always get it right, but we should be striving to do better daily. Side effects are not exclusive to you the patient, but directly and indirectly affect those around you. The side effect may not hit you in your lifetime, but best believe your kids may have to battle that thing. Get your house in order. Life is hard without added stress. Prepare a life for your kids where they don’t have to battle the scars you never healed, endure the pain from the conversations you never had and the list goes on and on. You won’t be able to save them from everything, but you can ensure they are equipped to handle the things that arise. Take charge of your life. Stop letting stuff just happen to you. God said “Faith without works is dead.” So STOP just believing things will change, and actively participate in the change. You can simply start with just changing your mind set. Start speaking the change you want to see. Again, the bible says Life and Death are in the power of the tongue. You have the power to speak life into any situation. Speak positivity over negativity. Start calling those things that are not as though they were and watch it happen. Speak over your life, your family’s life, your children; folks at work, shoot….the even the car if it’s acting up…speak healing on it! Lol.
There will always be side effects; that we know to be true. However, we have the power to minimize the direct effect it has on our lives. Start by cleaning house. Rid yourself of toxic relationships, friendships, drama, etc. Monitor your intake. The music, TV shows, social media, even the conversations you entertain. Whether you realize it or not, your subconscious is downloading this stuff and it starts to change and shape the decisions and mindsets you have. Stop giving life and attention to stuff that doesn’t add any value to your life.
*SIDEBAR* (Now I love me some Beyonce like that next person. She is beautiful, talented and at the top of her game. But guess what I have the same 24hrs she has to take over the world daily. I see so many people spend so much time and energy on her life or the lives of celebrities or these imaginary “haters” and don’t invest half the time in themselves. Then complain they aren’t going to the next level in life. How do you have more pictures of Beyonce’s daughter Blue Ivy on your page than you do your own kids? Or you post pictures of the rack and racks of high-end clothing/shoe brands you’ve purchased, but if I asked to see your saving account you’d look at me crossed eyed. You have the ability to build wealth and stability, but you can’t if you’re more focused on the blessing of someone else. It’s time to start investing permanently in you. The God I serve guarantees that he is not a respecter of persons…there for Beyonce watch out girl…you’ll be sharing that spotlight very soon!)
More importantly, I want to THANK EVERYONE who has prayed, sent a kind word, texted, called, interceded or just thought of me during this journey. Those of you on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, internationally and stateside. There is way TOO MANY to name. Thank you to YOU and YOU and YOU and YOU and YES YOU TOO! You will NEVER EVER know what your thoughts of love have done for me during this challenging time. Your gestures have been instrumental in keeping me in a positive place. In my darkest hours, I go back and read your comments and texts and look at the call log to remind myself this journey isn’t being walked along. But I am walking this journey hand in hand & heart in heart with people who believe in the healing power of God. I am humbled God would choose me and truly believe “For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak and not lie; though it tarry, wait for it; for it will CERTAINLY come, it will NOT tarry” (Habakkuk 2:3). So I need y’all to stay strong with me, keep praying, keep sending those encouraging message, because the vision will certainly come and the glory of the Lord will be revealed. And one thing I know about God is you don’t have to receive the blessing to be blessed….you can get blessed from the OVERFLOW…and it is my prayer that everyone connected to this gets blessed in the OVERFLOW of whatever God is preparing to do!
Until next time…..
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